Ok, so this is my new life.
One minute I am happily parading around the hay field at Swanbridge with my 4 girlies and the next, bam, I’m being trailered off to god knows where with that scary shepherd woman, Jane.
You Jane, me, Ivo..
Now that dopey one, Helen, she’s a piece of cake to control. This Jane, she’s a whole different piece of skirt in waterproofs.
So, here I was, couple of days ago, stuck in a barn. Not having that, I thought. So, while no bugger’s looking, it’s break out time and off to see a load of fluffy white fat-assed sheep in a nearby field. Christmas!!!!
Well, what a time I had! See, girls like a good-looking lump of big-horned manliness.. treat em mean, keep em keen, I say. I am having the time of my life and I’m pretty confident they are too judging by all the bleating.
Anyway, all is going to plan when Jane realises I’m not where I should be and comes looking. Caught red-hooved and forced to walk the lane of shame back to the barn.
Now, she then has the bright idea of caging me whilst all the other rams are just behind hurdles. It was time to keep quiet and behave.
In the quiet of the still frosty starlit night, we boys broke free. Ok, so it may have taken me longer than the others to escape but boy, what’s the point of having a giant pair of tin-openers on your head if you don’t use em, huh?
Right. First things first. We beat the s..t out of each other. Blood, wool and tears everywhere. Boys on tour. We had a blast! We trash the barn.
Now, what do we want? Girls… we want ewe…
So this is where there’s a flaw in our plan. We can’t get out of the barn. And what looks like a ewe, smells like a ewe but ain’t gonna complain? A big bag of fleeces… My kinda girl. Come here, Dolly, ewe look lovely to me..
Ah, what a night!
I have no idea why Jane was so cross this morning.